Monday, February 28, 2011

Right

Found this quite amusing:
When you write copy, you own the right of copyright to the copy you write, if the copy is right. If, however, your copy falls over, you must right your copy. If you write religious services, you write rite, and own the right of copyright to the rite you write.

Conservatives write Right copy, and own the right of copyright, to the Right copy they write. A right-wing cleric would write Right rite, and owns the right of copyright to the Right rite he has the right to write. His editor has the job of making the Right rite copy right before the copyright can be right.

Should Reverend Jim Wright decide to write Right rite, then Wright would write right rite, to which Wright has the right of copyright. Duplicating his rite would be to copy Wright's Right rite, and violate copyright, to which Wright would have the right to right.

Right?

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Jesus - meet Jesus

Chatting to a couple of young guys from our Birmingham church this morning, Pete and Chris, they were telling me about an outreach campaign they've just held in which which they led a young man to Jesus; his name is - Jesus.

Yes. "Jesus has given his life to Jesus - quite powerfully actually," said Pete, a glint of irony in his eye.

Turns out this chap has led quite a wild life. Not long ago his escapades looked like they might land him a stay at Her Majesty's pleasure. Worried about this, and determined to change his ways, our man prayed to God, asking to be given another chance, not to be sentenced to imprisonment. While he was at it, he asked for he and his lady to have a child (they'd been trying for some time without success.)

Months later she was pregnant - with twins - and he was acquitted.

In gratitude to God, he wasn't content with popping along to church or giving a few crisp banknotes to Christian Aid. No: he changed his name, by deed pole, to Jesus . "Jesus Jeremiah" in fact.

When our Jesus Army team met him on the streets of Birmingham, they found he was very ready to be helped into making a Christian commitment, and he expereinced a powerful touch of God's love over the weekend.

They call him "JJ". Afterall, admitted Pete, it would be a bit confusing having two Jesuses around.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Night hours are long

A poem I wrote after a disturbed night:

Night hours are long
Minutes crawl lifetimes strung
Between seconds which drag and stretch
Like a murdered corpse
Trailing blood across a tiled floor
After the sudden sharp stab
The knife-edge jolt into wakefulness
The night horror quickly evaporates
Leaving only terror’s taste
And that strange static electricity
Amid the grains of grey half light
And each interminable tick of the clock
Or flick from one red figure
To another, to another, to another

And all the while thoughts congregate
Like a crowd at the gallows
Day’s innocent angels are night’s demons
And night hours are long
Pray them away these dark visitants
These satans of the night?
No Saint Antony I lie
Sweat-drenched lie breathless
As the red figures march by

When dawn’s first light, my amnesty
Arrives at the window
Only then I am saved
And then only by grace

And yet in quick bright hours that follow
I remember my captors – and laugh