Wednesday, May 09, 2007

A little dilemma

DilemmaI wondered whether to write this entry because it’s a bit sensitive. I decided to, in the end, because otherwise this blog about life in Christian community could become lopsided, focusing on happy-lovely-positive things and avoiding anything more difficult. There’s plenty of that kind of censorship in Christian bookstores...

(I also decided to go for it because I think I’ve got a fighting chance of keeping this all nice and anonymous – so for those dear readers who think they can work out who I’m talking about – you’ve probably already got it wrong.)

A few days ago, I had cross words with someone. I felt they were out of order in something and I let them know: gave them a flea in their ear. It was something and nothing really – and not the kind of thing I do very often, unlike some of my more confrontational friends (oh, how I envy them at times) – though I do think it mattered.

Problem is, I now know that that person is still sore towards me. In fact, barely speaking to me, as I discovered this morning... I offered a small olive branch – offered to talk it though with them sometime. But it was received stonily.

It all leaves me wondering what to do. It pains me to be at odds with someone, especially a fellow-Christian. But I know that I can’t simply conclude that I should never be “real” with anyone or correct them (believe me, I’m temperamentally inclined to go down this route!)

Jesus spoke of “leaving your gift at the altar when you remember your brother had something against you” (in other words dropping everything to get it sorted). What ought I to do? In this case, to be perfectly frank, the person concerned is really just having a good old sulk. But I do want reconciliation.

Should I apologise, even though I’m quite sure I was not in the wrong and also aware that a leader must lead?

Should I put it out of my mind (after all it’s their problem)?

Should I just pray for them?

Am I too nice? Too harsh? Too bothered?

What do you think?

6 comments:

dee-braveheart said...

just want to encourage you

stay true to what you know is true
know that God works things out
Leave it with God and continue to pray for your friend.
And do not worry about being too nice/hard/bothered
we are building the kingdom as long as we are faithful and rightous God works it out. when we try too we end up exhusted. Many blessings just keep being Normal much grace and esteem

HR?I said...

If you were right to say what you did, as im sure you were, then the best thing to do is let God work. after all, what you said was from God so why feel the need to appologise for something God said? Gods right all the time-He doesnt need to apologise. you shouldnt in this instance. you have done your best to reconcile with the person, keep your arms open to welcome them back. remember the story of the prodical son. whoever it is will come back when their hearts have been changed, just make sure you are willing to let them back in.

darren deliberate said...

Wise words from Hr?i there.

In action - do no more and wait,
In Heart be ready to accept their olive branch when they are ready.

Only downside I can think of is if the person concerned reads your entry and considers it indiscrete.

Aidan said...

I agree with all of the last three comments, and I know it aint a nice position to be in, but keep it good your end and 'all things work for good for those who love the Lord.'

TJ said...

"Should I apologise, even though I’m quite sure I was not in the wrong and also aware that a leader must lead?"

My take on this I guess is slightly different.Sometimes saying sorry isn't about whether we where in the right or wrong.Sometimes its about saying 'sorry if my words cut some but I've said what I said because I do care,if I didn't care I wouldn't bother' Thing is,saying something along those lines can go a long way to helping someone to think about what you said,it can go a long way into actually showing you've only spoke out because you do care....well,you did ask for thoughts.

; ) The TJ

normal said...

Some good thoughts, all. Thanks.