Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Post Script blues

I spent today editing Together. (For anyone who doesn't know Together is our national church news bulletin, a six page jobby...) I don't usually do it, but the normal editor was away today. It's usually fun(ish) doing Together: a bit creative, a bit technical, and you get to hear all the news from around the church - first!

But today, come 5 o'clock, I find myself suffering from numb bum and brain inertia. Why? - ask the computer. Go on, ask the pesky thing! Yes, it's all the blithering machine's fault. When I came towards the end of the editing process and wanted to export a page of the bulletin to a PDF file, the computer decided it didn't want to let me do that. So it spat up a helpful window onto my screen with some computernese gibberish about the PostScript output having failed (the post what? Does that have anything to do with the Royal Mail?) Anyway, after having got the ICT chap in (he had no idea), I then got my boss (who has a brain a bit like a computer, so I thought he might be able to help...)

So, what was the problem, I hear you ask? Are you ready?

Commas.

I'd put commas in the filename of the document.

And the computer, poor, sensitive thing didn't like them. So it refused to do anything with the document.

Now, I have to admit, I'm not keen on the overuse of commas myself (I was an English teacher for seven years, so I know what 'comma-itus' is - that strange disease in writing which kills all other punctuation marks replacing them with an outbreak of commas so virulant that the piece of writing ends up being one extraordinarily long sentence...)

But, to refuse to do anything, just because of some - perfectly reasonable, I thought - comma usage in the filename? That's just the sulks, pure and simple.

Anyway, incredulous with disbelief, I changed the filename, used some full stop instead and - as if by magic - little diddums poor old abused computer worked a treat.

I have a friend - an expert in computers as it happens - who tells me that computers are female. I'll leave you with that thought.

I'm off to eat some coffee...

14 comments:

Beefan said...

hmm how do i respond without offending women and girls well il just say. ok computers and like women push the right buttons and your sorted push the worng ones and your in trouble! my new great idea... any man that wants to marry should first figure out how to work a computer before he attepmts to understand a woman. james 5 days till work expirence woo!

Andy said...

lol yeh computers are funny like that (but before I get a silly remark such as "Are you saying women are funny then?" the answer is no in the peculiar sense and sometimes in the hilarity sense. I thoink that about covers all the places I can get "questioned" about.)yes you have to treat them right so they work properly. They aren't exactly very adaptive. Enjoy the comma's and full stops.

Supernatural said...

Try using commas again next week. It could well be feeling different by then.

DarrenDeliberate said...
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DarrenDeliberate said...

Nice one Sup,

Bethan having worked in IT for a few years I think I would seriously have to consider the blessing of Celibacy if that test were introduced. We would also see a worldwide drop in the birth rate, with lots of Broody women blaming men for the end of human race. Or a man would create a more straight forward computer (Hmm it has legs...)

normal said...

Hey, Bethan, are you staying with us on your birthday - 'cos we've got a great evening planned so I hope you are...

normal said...

Andy, this may seem picky - but you want to check out your use of the apostrophe, mate...

TJ said...

Computers where designed by a man...ummm,I'll leave you with that thought

; ) The TJ

Beefan said...

ooooooooh what ahev u got planned and yes i am by the way ooh tell me tell me!! please im now in need of nknowing! by the way im going to warn u my siutcase is going to be huge!
p.s darren very funny and tj very good point if a man created a computer and he cant even work out how to use it then ... hmmm the morral of the story is women are clever! :)

Andy said...

Yeh I did that on purpose. The whole punctuation thing. Oh well. good luck with that moral thing Bethan. And one more thing. Not fair! Your birthday is three days before mine! =D

dee-braveheart said...

james there seems to be a trait of feminism coming out in some of your blogs not by you bro but you do seem to know how to fuel a debate
by the way how do i add links to my blog so that if any one was to read it i could link them to other like minded crazy peeps and if folks want to add my link to their site that is cool

dee-braveheart said...

oh yeah and by the way never got my together in my inbox where is it???? lost in cyber space

dee-braveheart said...

got on firday and it was as wonderfully inspiring as it always is

Anonymous said...
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