Oh dear...

...this is a bit self-indulgant really. But I thought it was quite fun too.

Something more spiritual next time, honest. In the mean time:

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

A little dilemma

I wondered whether to write this entry because it’s a bit sensitive. I decided to, in the end, because otherwise this blog about life in Christian community could become lopsided, focusing on happy-lovely-positive things and avoiding anything more difficult. There’s plenty of that kind of censorship in Christian bookstores...

(I also decided to go for it because I think I’ve got a fighting chance of keeping this all nice and anonymous – so for those dear readers who think they can work out who I’m talking about – you’ve probably already got it wrong.)

A few days ago, I had cross words with someone. I felt they were out of order in something and I let them know: gave them a flea in their ear. It was something and nothing really – and not the kind of thing I do very often, unlike some of my more confrontational friends (oh, how I envy them at times) – though I do think it mattered.

Problem is, I now know that that person is still sore towards me. In fact, barely speaking to me, as I discovered this morning... I offered a small olive branch – offered to talk it though with them sometime. But it was received stonily.

It all leaves me wondering what to do. It pains me to be at odds with someone, especially a fellow-Christian. But I know that I can’t simply conclude that I should never be “real” with anyone or correct them (believe me, I’m temperamentally inclined to go down this route!)

Jesus spoke of “leaving your gift at the altar when you remember your brother had something against you” (in other words dropping everything to get it sorted). What ought I to do? In this case, to be perfectly frank, the person concerned is really just having a good old sulk. But I do want reconciliation.

Should I apologise, even though I’m quite sure I was not in the wrong and also aware that a leader must lead?

Should I put it out of my mind (after all it’s their problem)?

Should I just pray for them?

Am I too nice? Too harsh? Too bothered?

What do you think?

Interesting Years

Interesting Year 1981:

1. Prince Charles got married

2. Liverpool crowned football Champions of Europe

3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament

4. Pope died

Interesting Year 2005:

1. Prince Charles got married

2. Liverpool crowned football Champions of Europe

3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament

4. Pope died

Lesson Learned:

The next time Charles gets married... someone better warn the Pope

Baptisms last night.

On the face of it, one of the odder things that Christians do. Dipping people under water, fully clothed, while a crowd of people look on and cheer.

Why do we do it?

Reason number one: because Jesus told us to. And why did He tell us to?

I explained it last night, like this:

Dirty people need a bath. Dead people need a burial. Orphaned people need adoption. Baptism is all three.

A bath? Ok, so not a very conventional one (one doesn’t normally bathe fully clothed, or watched by others – certainly not in Church meetings!) This is an inside wash, a cleansing of the moral dirt of our hearts and minds. Not that the water is magical – or even “holy” in itself. It’s just that Jesus has removed the stain of our sin by His sacrificial death. Baptism is saying “yes” to Jesus and it graphically demonstrates the cleansing that results from saying “yes” to Him.

A burial? Fact is, we’re all dead men walking. Our sins have separated us from God, the source of life. Our days are numbered. We’re all due a long stay underground. Death is the inevitable result of sin. But – and here’s the big news, the gospel I get so excited about: Jesus dies for us. Yes, for us, instead of us, did our dying for us. He took the death penalty for sin. Faith in Him means faith that He did our dying for us –or to put it another way (as the New testament often does) we did our dying in Him. So baptism is a graphic entry into Christ’s death (down into the water we go) and His burial (out of sight, gone) – and His resurrection! (Up, out, dripping, glowing – alive!)

An adoption? Yes – we’re baptised (immersed, dipped, initiated) into a name. The new family name – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – in other words – God! God adopts us into His family. It started with the Father begetting a Son in the Spirit. But now, as we’re joined to the Son in baptism by the Spirit – God becomes out Father! (Did you follow all that? It’s quite something!)

And, as children of God, we’re brothers and sisters – “baptised by one Spirit into one body” – the Church of Jesus, the brotherhood of Christ.

Hallelujah! I love baptism – even if it is one of the odder things we do.

And I pray that the three guys we baptised last night will live in the reality of it all the days of their life – and forever after.

A load of rubbish!

Goldsmiths last Saturday (our all-singing, all-dancing - well, music and drama anyway - gospel event at Coventry Jesus Centre).

Phew! Went well, I believe. The theme upon which the evening turned was "clearing up the mess" - hence, the entire hall was decorated with rubbish. Rubbish which, at the climactic part of the evening was winched down to reveal huge red letters spelling out "Jesus' blood makes us clean".

I think that - fairly blatently - said what was to be said.

Perhaps the music and the drama was really rather superfluous...

I was thinking, right...

Met up with a couple of my ex-students last night – they happen to be home from their respective universities, Goldsmiths and Nottingham Trent. Great lads – good to see them.

One of them mentioned that he’d found my blog by doing a Google search... which made me wonder how many other people read this without my knowing about it.

This post is dedicated to my anonymous readers (could be thousands or could be one ex-student at Goldsmiths).

I’ll share a few thoughts that I had as I was walking back from town. It started with looking at a few largish houses and thinking, idly (as I often do), “They’d make quite good community houses”. But then I was walking through parallel lines of the semi-detached and detached dwellings of Humphrey Burton’s Road in Coventry’s suburbia. Which got me thinking about boxes.

Yes, boxes: the boxes that the majority of UK people live in. Boxes with three or four bedrooms in the avenues I was walking through last night. Each box almost inevitably contains a washing machine.

Stay with me (you may wonder where I’m going with this). I could have chosen any number of household appliances – fridges, freezers, microwaves... but we’ll stick to washing machines for the sake of argument.

So Humphrey Burton’s Road must contain, at an estimate, a hundred-odd washing machines.

A hundred-odd washing machines to do the washing of maybe four hundred people.

Then there’s cars. Most of the drives on this fairly well-to-do road had three parked on them. Three hundred cars for the same four hundred people.

Now I’m not good with figures and I’m no environmental expert, but it seems to me that that many washing machines and that many cars (and fridges and freezers and microwaves and... and...) are far more than that many people actually need in terms of a strict ratio of people to resources.

Think about this: each one of those houses will contain two, perhaps three toilets – do people really need to have almost a toilet each.

My point is that UK society, living in its boxes, is grossly wasteful. Why? Because there is no sharing. Not a bit of it. Each box has kit for its inhabitants only. So we live in streets packed with washing machines. And we only actually need about half of them, or less.

Human beings were meant to live in community. They were meant to share the resources of Earth, not horde them in little boxes. And the planet is paying the price, groaning, getting hotter and hotter, heading for melt-down.

I live in community, not, in fact, because of environmental panic. We live for the cause of Jesus. But it’s a noteworthy by-product that we share washing machines at something like a ratio of 8:1 and cars at a ratio of 5:1 (often using a minibus to transport up to 15 people) and toilets at a ratio of 3:1 (actually we’re quite well-off for toilets in our house!)

Sharing. It’s a good idea; it’s how Jesus lived; it’s how the Christian Church started out; it’s not how UK people (in their boxes) live; unlike the boxed-in-life, it doesn’t kill the Earth; it means sacrifice; the Communists weren’t able to force it; I do it because I live for the cause of Jesus.

What’re you doing about it?

Still under the influence

We had more last night at Agape. Here's what I wrote in today's Together bulletin:

The anointings continued at Agape after we considered some of the purposes of the anointing – to know God and who we are in God, to ‘abide’ in the Body, to receive love and power and to move in spiritual gifts. We recognised that anointing will come to different people in different ways (we mustn’t get hung up about the fact that we’re “not experiencing what they’re experiencing”).

Then all heaven was let loose – laughing, crying, shaking, (no falling!) and all manner of other interesting goings-on. Thank you Lord. This should power us up for the coming weeks of activity: J Gen march, Goldsmiths, coach campaign. It’s all go, so Holy Spirit come!

Under the influence

It was Abraham Lincoln who said: “If all the people who fell asleep in church were laid out, end to end... they’d be a lot more comfortable!”

We had a few people laid out at our church last weekend – but for a happier reason. It was our “Alive Weekend” festival in the Giant Marquee (a full knees-up for the mJa) – Easter weekend, so an appropriate weekend to call “Alive”...

And it certainly was alive! We had a lot of very powerful Holy Spirit happenings – people laughing and crying as the Spirit came upon them, people falling, people being healed.

I even toppled to floor a couple of times myself (I thought I’d grown out of such things...)

Yet, as we were reminded by our two main leaders towards the end of the weekend, the ultimate purpose of the Holy Spirit manifesting His presence in such ways is not that we fall over, or display emotion – but that we are refreshed and empowered to give our all to build the Church.

“It’s not how you fall down, it’s how you get up that counts”.

But I have to say, I feel very refreshed, a whole lot more human, less stressed, more confidant – so the fruit is good.

As Scrappy Doo would say, “Lemme at ’em”...

These men are not drunk, as you suppose. (Acts 2:15)

Disgusting

Apparently a good way to get rid of people we don’t want in our country is to treat them as animals so they don’t want to stay anymore...

Check out the news story. Here’s an extract:

The JCHR highlighted one case of a destitute Rwandan asylum-seeker who suffered bowel cancer and had a colostomy bag, but was refused treatment by a hospital and could not register with a doctor.

Meanwhile, a woman had been forced to live rough for three months - sitting at crowded bus stops all night because she was terrified of being alone - but on winning her asylum appeal had been ruled entitled to immediate support.

The committee also reported how the parents of a three-week-old baby had been housed in a "filthy, bug-infested room" in Leicester.

I hate this kind of display of all that’s worst about the disgusting pride and callous disregard for fellow human beings that “privileged” Western nations such as ours often exhibit.

As the Church of Jesus we love all, welcome all – because we belong to a people drawn from “every nation, tribe, people and language” (Revelation 7:9). “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it” (Psalm 24:1) – we all live on God’s Earth because of His grace, none of us deserving, none having more or less “rights” than any other. How dare we turn our backs on the destitute and the refugee – no, worse than that – how dare we treat them as less than us, less than human.

It makes my blood boil and provokes me to live for God’s kingdom of the poor with all my heart.

But by the grace of God...

So I wrote this poem about sin (see There but for the grace of God).

And a dear friend wrote a poem in response which transforms my parched prayer into an overflowing cup. Here it is:

I will see my dreams come true.
After I am dead and gone- I will make it through.
I will wake in the likeness of Him who
makes a beggar His all, his joy, his pride.
I will be a diamond on the forehead
of an immortal bride.

I will cry these scales from my eyes.
At the end of the tragic tale I will start to laugh;
My inner darkness will be cleansed
and my fractured feet will mend
as I dance among stars.

I will speak in love's language that I don't know
and could not learn.
I will walk barefoot through scorching coals
and never burn.
My heart will be fused with the living sun
as I look through pain towards our perfect union.

My thoughts will join with the deepest ever unknown-
I AM in complete knowledge of all that is I AM.
Participate in the self awareness of the foundation stone
who ever lives, and live increasingly as I become
power and wisdom and love in clear reflection
of power, wisdom and love in full perfection.

At the invitation given to share Your throne
I'll walk where none can ever hope to go.
In utter isolation I will never be alone
for You name me, call me, draw me - take me for Your own.

I had a dream

Just before I woke up this morning I had a dream. Like many dreams it was slightly surreal and odd – but it left me with the most powerful feeling. Let me tell you about it.

I was at my Mum’s church up in Liverpool, the church I went along to when I was a kid. (It’s a Methodist Church with some lovely people, but not a great deal of spiritual oomph – the only thing increasing there seems to be the average age of the congregation.) Anyway, on the site of this church, there’s the main church building and also a tumbledown hall (more corrugated iron than bricks and mortar) which the scouts and others use – the “top hall” it’s generally called.

Okay, so much for the background, now for what happened. There I was (don’t we often find ourselves in scenes from the past in our dreams?) and somehow found out that a very rich multi-millionaire had promised to turn the top hall into a purpose-built, state-of-the-art Christian youth centre. No limits – we could plan whatever we wanted and he would pay. I found myself on the committee that were planning what would happen.

As the dream went on, the whole thing grew more and more expansive (and expensive!) It was a multi-storey, huge place with big conference style rooms for worship, music suite, action rooms – even a swimming pool with water chutes! The point was that it became increasingly evident that there really were no limits – this geezer was going to pay for whatever we asked for! We dreamed on and the building started and we were thinking bigger and bigger and bigger.

What’s more, the Methodist Church started to have a new lease of (spiritual) life. An old worthy who I remember from my childhood (in fact, he’s still at that church now) got involved and became passionate for the vision of young people finding faith. The whole thing galvanised the church into action. They started to plan a huge underground car-park for all the people who were going to be coming from miles around. This little church had become a honey pot that young people swarmed to.

I woke up totally excited. Vision! The sky’s the limit! We needn’t stint!

Immediately, I thought, “God’s our benefactor; and He is generous.” I don’t know what this dream might mean for the Methodist Church up north-west, but I found myself filled with a new faith in God’s generosity for us in the Jesus Army - and for the Church as a whole in the UK.

“Ask and it will be given” – that was what this dream was all about! And there’s so many things we dream of: Jesus Centres across the country, full-on Christian communities that are vibrant and compellingly attractive, young people being awakened to God in droves...

I suppose I’d got rather into the humdrum daily grind of “living for Christ” (yawn) and “being a leader” (snore). But God has reminded me – the sky’s the limit! He’s generous and wants to give more "than all that we ask or think”. He's calling us to faith.

What do you want? Ask the benefactor. Dream your dreams. See them come to pass.

(I've already shared this dream with a few friends this morning - here's one friend's reflections on it: God's generous expansive heart.)

God thoughts (part 2)

You see, I reckon that if we have a glib, rather silly idea of what God’s omnipotence means – that God can do “any any any anything” even if it’s logical gibberish like making black white (and it still being black), or (a more serious mistake) morally outside God like being tempted by evil – then we are likely to end up in some blind alleys.

For instance, we’re likely to end up blaming God when things aren’t going well. After all, God can do anything, right? So why isn’t he making me happy? Healing me? Sending me telegrams from heaven? (It’s the philosopher’s “problem of evil” made personal and therefore selfish).

But, in this sense, God cannot “do anything”. If there’s sin in your life, for instance, God cannot ignore it. So you’re not going to be happy. Better face it and repent! Not blame God, because He should sort it (because, of course, He “can”!) Get my meaning?

Think about it. If God can “do anything” then don’t you think He’d have come up with a rather more painless way of redeeming the world? Praise our merciful God that He found the way – and who can trace the extent of His wisdom and mercy – but let’s not pretend it was “easy” for God because He can “do anything” (presumably by clicking His fingers or waving a wand).

Even miracles, in which I believe firmly, are within the bounds of what is “possible” in the universe God has made. Sure, walking on water may necessitate a re-arranging of some of the laws of physics. But it doesn’t involve scrapping them altogether. In fact, many miracles involve an acceleration of such laws: take healing, for instance. There’s a natural God-given power of healing in organisms (just as there’s also a power of decay at work in our fallen world). And God can and does speed healing up at times (or slow down the decaying process).

But we damage our faith and set ourselves up for trouble if we want to simplify God and make Him some kind of cosmic wizard who can do anything with the wave of a hand. We’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. The universe is far bigger and far more wonderful than that. And so is God.

God thoughts (part 1): Can God do anything?

At our Agape meals, every Tuesday, we talk God over a meal.

Usually the brothers and sisters sit at separate tables in order to encourage deeper, more frank sharing. As one of those curious gender half-breeds, a married man, I get the privilege of sitting with the sisters and marshalling their discussion. It’s an experience!

The mystic mentor with an unusual line on most things. The new disciple, usually tired out but wanting God. The whimsical leaf-collector who likes curling up on God’s lap. The crossword whiz who cooks the meal and has a deep reservoir of thought. A recent-comer to our table who refreshingly refuses to let anything pass until she’s sure she understands fully. An elderly saint who comes out with some gems. A girl who went to a good school and was well taught (and hasn’t let it spoil her). The young marketing designer who, amusingly, pretends to be confused though she’s the most intelligent person at the table. My good lady wife (who likes the cut and thrust of debate). And me.

What a bunch. I love them all dearly.

Last Tuesday, our debate (as it sometimes does) veered off course and we wound up discussing what it meant to say that God can “do anything”. I mean – can He?

I maintained that God cannot, in fact, do anything. That to say that He can is to make a sweeping, seemingly devout, generalisation that actually gets us into trouble. I’m not denying that God is omnipotent - that is, possessing all power. But that’s not quite the same thing.

Here’s a quote from a Christian author:

Regarding His omnipotence, there are many things He can’t do, sometimes because they are logically incoherent (like drawing a square circle), but usually because they are morally incompatible with His character (like telling a lie). I once made a list of things that He can’t possibly do and quickly reached thirty. I was humbled, not puffed up, when I realised with a shock how many things I could do and had done which were beyond Him!
- David Pawson

We got into discussing what it means, then, that “nothing is impossible for God” (Luke 1:37) or, conversely, that “all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27).

What do you think? Let the debate open! And in a day or three, I’ll post some more thoughts I’ve had on the topic... but first, let’s see what some of you may want to say.

Leadership

I’ve just finished reading a book about Alexander the Great (by Robin Lane Fox, published by Penguin). Many a reflection has sprung from it, not least the realisation that across 2,300 years of history – for all the immense changes in technology, society and culture – human beings, in their essence, have changed very little.

But perhaps the strongest impression has been of a man who knew how to lead other men.

Alexander died in 323 BC aged 32, having conquered an empire of more than two million square miles and founded eighteen cities.

Don’t get me wrong. Alexander was by no means all sweetness and light. He had a murder or two to his name. He had certain qualities in common with Hitler and Stalin; the gap of a couple of millennia can obscure this fact. The ancient past is all too easy to romanticise. But the very significant difference between Hitler in his bunker and Alexander at the front of his army is just that – Alexander led from the front, and inspired his men with his almost foolhardy courage. (Perhaps believing that he was the son of Zeus helped.)

Here’s a quotation from near the end of Fox’s book:

There are two ways to lead men, either to delegate all authority and limit the leader's burden or to share every hardship and decision and be seen to take the toughest labour, prolonging it until every other man has finished. Alexander's method was the second, and only those who have suffered the first can appreciate why his men adored him; they will also remember how lightly men talk of a leader's example, but how much it costs both the will and the body to sustain it.

I reflect. What inspiration can be gained from such a man as a Christian leader? Clearly, as Christians, we seek to serve in secret and should avoid “showy” leadership. That said, clearly example is important; certainly, Christian leaders should lead from the front and assume more hardship than their flock and must not shirk adversity.

I think the tone of today very often emphasises the wisdom of delegation, of pacing yourself, of “remembering it is a marathon not a sprint”. All very wise and good.

But, beyond it all, I believe there is a call, in Christian leadership, to push out beyond such sheltered waters into wild, unpredictable and unreasonable seas; serving with every last ounce of strength.

Here's Paul:

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. (Extracts from 2 Corinthians)

Leadership – it’s no easy ticket; but it's the call Christ issues, no matter "how much it costs both the will and the body to sustain it."

Cos I like it...

R.S. Thomas. I love the poetry this man writes. Much of it is bleak and it has far more questions than answers. But it is shot through with something of the stillness of a man who lived in Wales and fiercely resisted the hustle and bustle that presses most of us from every side (he maintained that refridgerators were evil, let alone mobile phones).

This one's really pretty upbeat for R.S... And it's about God. See what you think.

Praise

I praise you because
you are artist and scientist
in one. When I am somewhat
fearful of your power,
your ability to work miracles
with a set-square, I hear
you murmuring to yourself
in a notation Beethoven
dreamed of but never achieved.
You run off your scales of
rain water and sea water, play
the chords of the morning
and evening light, sculpture
with shadow, join together leaf
by leaf, when spring
comes, the stanzas of
an immense poem. You speak
all languages and none,
answering our most complex
prayers with the simplicity
of a flower, confronting
us, when we would domesticate you
to our uses, with the rioting
viruses under our lens.

- R.S. Thomas

There but for the grace of God...

Sin is insanity.

I wrote a poem about it today.

I will never achieve my dreams.
I will pour away the precious water of life onto arid sands
I will empty the cup of life into death’s drain.
I will exchange a birthright of glory for a lukewarm bowl of slop.
I will scorn a love so freely offered with such cost.
I will spit in the face of the One who matters most
and gaze with longing into the face of devils.
Not gouging out my eye, my eye will be burned.
Not severing my hand, my hand will be withered.
I will caress the leprous hand of Satan.
I will scribble desperately over my name in life’s ledger.
I will give eloquent, compelling testimony against myself.
I will cut off nose, lips and eyelids to spite my face.
I will run with ardent desire into the icy fire of hell.
I will be Esau, I will be Judas.
I will be damned,
but for your grace.
Oh God. I gasp. Give grace.

"Tough rhetoric and gimmicks"

The government's latest brainwave to tackle the perceived immigration 'problem': send nasty text messages to remind immigrants not to overstay their visas.

But as Joint Council for the Welfare of Immigrants chief executive Habib Rahman said: "Barring up to half a million irregular migrants in the UK from access to rights and services is not a realistic or humane response.

"Rendering them destitute will not encourage or enable them to return to countries riven by human rights abuses, conflict and poverty.

"It will force many onto the doorsteps of already stressed charities and churches, or into the arms of criminals facilitating forced labour."

And one Lib Deb added a caustic comment: "If tough rhetoric and gimmicks were enough to sort out our immigration system, we would have the best in the world."

Read all about it: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6424377.stm

As a church (and hopefully not a "stressed" one!..), we see the plight of asylum-seekers as close to God's own heart and as a golden opportunity to bring the gospel to suffering people. The "get rid of 'em" approach is part of the "Englishman's home is his castle" rubbish which we despise. We want to open our heart's wide to those in need.

Do not mistreat or abuse foreigners who live among you. Remember, you were foreigners in Egypt (Exodus 22:21)

We were all foreigners to God's grace once - indeed, the nature of grace is that we remian foreigners, but are accepted nevertheless into God's commonwealth. How then can we turn away our brother-foreigners?

I hate nationalist racsism dressed up in self-righteousness. I'm so glad to be part of a church for and of the poor.

Faith era

Something our Apostolic Team Leader said last night seemed worthy of note. I paraphrase:

“We have, to some extent over these years, learnt love – but now we are coming into a time when we must learn faith.”

Simple, yet profound. I got the impression, as I listened that this just may be one of those words that defines a whole era in our church’s journey.

We shall see (if we have eyes to see...)

RAW Promotional Video

Getta load of this! (Be there - August 2-4 2007 at Northampton Jesus Centre)

The Voice of the Martyrs

Diana grew up in a strict Islamic family in Pakistan. Her life was pretty typical until she met a girl named Mary who was a Christian. Now Diana is also a Christian and on the run.

When Diana's family learned that she had become a Christian, they repeatedly beat her and insisted she return to Islam. But Diana refused. She was then forced to a local canal where her uncle put a pistol to her head and gave her one last chance to return to Islam. Diana replied, "You can kill me if you want. I will not leave Christ."

It was then that Diana's uncle noticed an extremely poisonous black cobra swimming in the canal. Believing he could escape any prosecution for his niece's death, he threw her into the path of the cobra. He also knew she could not swim.

Diana miraculously escaped from the canal and is in hiding today. She is a new Christian but has already learned what it means to suffer for Christ. She recently told The Voice of the Martyrs, "Jesus was crucified for us. Can we not endure some of the same for Him?"

(From The Voice of the Martyrs)

De profundis - from the depths

The bird on the branch, the lily in the meadow, the stag in the forest, the fish in the sea, and countless joyful people sing: God is love! But under all these sopranos, as it were a sustained bass part, sounds the “de profundis” of the sacrificed: God is love.

- Soren Kierkegaard

RAW!

A modern Jesus army event...

RAW

Real and Wild

2-4 August 2007

For the rising generation...

@ Northampton Jesus Centre

For anyone aged 15-35

What’s going on?

Hundreds of fired-up young visionaries. Passionate worship. Prophetic challenge. Real action. It’s gonna be unmissable. Get all your mates and get there.

What is RAW?

The modern Jesus army has a vision to call young people to be all out for Jesus in their generation. To become a “Jesus Generation”.

That is what RAW is all about. The call to real discipleship. The call of the wild. RAW will combine potent worship and Holy Spirit power with practical training and the call to full on Christian living.

Don’t miss it if you want to be on the cutting edge of what Jesus is doing in the UK of the 21^st century.

Love musings

I’m at the helm tonight at our household’s Agape meal.

(Every Tuesday, the core members gather for a meal and an opportunity to eat, share bread and wine – and fellowship; to worship and study the Bible together. The New Testament Church shared bread and wine within a fellowship meal or “love feast” and we do the same – in fact, agape means love: the unique self-giving love of God.)

And as it happens I’ve been musing about love and the nature of “God-love” (agape) and sharing some of my musings with the household. A couple of weeks ago, I explored a little the opposite of love – fear – and how it has to do with punishment (or “torment” in the Authorised Version). We are held back from trusting each other because we fear “torment” if we do so: the pain of being misunderstood, looked down on, rejected, hurt, trampled. Fear has to do with torment. But “perfect love” – the agape love of God, poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit – “drives out fear”. How we need to let the love of God loose in our hearts.

In this sense, true love is a paradox – in making itself utterly vulnerable (because there is no fear in love), love becomes utterly secure. G.K Chesterton wrote: “The Cross cannot be defeated for it is defeat.” Think about it.

Tonight, I want to continue the musing on a slightly more practical note which has to do with serving which is the reality of love in action.

Jesus said various things about serving. But here’s one particular thought.

In one story a servant is commended as a “good and faithful servant”. As the moral of another, Jesus says, “So when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, ‘We are unprofitable servants’.”

The good servant is congratulated by another; about himself says, “I am an unprofitable servant”.

There is a principle here: about ourselves we say, “I am unprofitable” and about others we say, “Well done!”

Let our household be filled with people saying to others “Well done! You’re doing well! I really esteem the way you work hard in the Lord!” and also saying, “As for me, I am only doing my duty as an unprofitable servant”. Let this be our deep heart-attitude. For this is love.

The flesh reverses this. A household full of the flesh will be full of people carefully setting up their safety zones and feeling that they’re ever so pushed and stretched and really giving so much – but that those other lazy ne’er-do-wells – well! They could really do with getting down to some serving! In effect, the dominant attitude becomes “poor old serving me” and “lazy old unprofitable others.” And the flesh is afraid - so, so afraid. “They don't understand; they're going to get me to do even more.”

And so the flesh lashes out, mistrusts, carps, looks for faults in others.

How different if we're a household that is letting love drive out fear: then we will believe the best of one another – including waiting for them to say, “You’re serving well – how about you have a rest.”

We will “do to others (and think of others) as we would have them do to (and think of) us”. This is the whole of the law and the prophets...

Though your sins were as scarlet...

...they shall be white as snow. (Isaiah 1:18)

Love's pressures

Let me love without honour,
Let me serve without applause,
Let me suffer, no-one knowing,
Live for Jesus without praise.

Let me walk without turning,
Follow You, mocked and betrayed,
Pressing forward, hold the vision,
Many pressures, no complaints.

These are the words of a very deep and searching song we sometimes sing. The lyrics are based on something written by Watchman Nee, the Chinese Christian leader who suffered for his faith under the Communists.

The reason I’m posting them today? Well... there’s been a fair number of “pressures” on some of us recently. Some sickness, some over-tiredness. Ironically, the pressure on the core of our church household comes – largely – from the blessing we prayed for!

“Send us people, Lord,” we prayed. “Teenagers will come to us,” we prophesied. And He did, and they did. And we love them – truly, our new disciples are our “joy and our crown”.

Yet, with people come pressures and a number of our “house family” (those living in the community house) have been feeling the strain. We’ve needed to address how we can give the house family some “recharge space” in the midst of all the challenges of a busy schedule.

There’s a danger in this, though. “I can’t cope” was not a phrase found on the lips of Jesus. In the Spirit, we can, in fact, cope. Jesus “coped” by rising early and spending time communing with His Father in the hills. But He wasn’t very keen on the disciples’ “sensible” suggestion to stop “those annoying children” coming to Him for a blessing!

In the same way, White Stone’s house family need to recharge and draw on God and one another; they will need opportunities to do that and wise leadership will provide them while avoiding the flesh taking over and rejecting those the Father has given us.

Let us love, serve, suffer... all for Jesus.

Angry love

'Anger is cool if you can control it.'

I've been thinking about anger (because I've been thinking about love, but I'll come to that later...)

It seems to me that it is an emotion that needs expression. If it is suppressed, it sinks down to become resentment (literally - 're-sentiment' as in it will resurface to poison future relationships). Yet if it is expressed in an uncontrolled manner, it clearly has destructive or violent potential.

So how does one express genuine anger, not supressing it, yet not losing one's self-control.

I think it's impossible without the Holy Spirit (indeed self-control is the fruit of the Spirit), which would lead me to conclude that natural man cannot have healthy anger - to some extent, it will be either suppressed or violent.

Nevertheless, I believe all human emotions are relations (though sometimes distant relations) of love. Now there's a thought...

"Love is a feeling to be learned.
It is anxiety and contentment.
It is deep yearning and hostility.
It is pleasure and it is pain.
There is not one without the other.
Happiness is only a part of love.
Suffering belongs to love also.
This is the mystery of love,
its beauty and its burden." - Walter Trobisch

Love poll

Quick poll: what is the opposite of love?

Hate? Fear? Indifference? Scorn?

Deeper Genesis

The promised deeper reflections on Genesis.

Reading through the book (as opposed to just dipping in) – which I haven't done for years – I've realised that its main message is redemption by faith.

The patriarchs and their wives were a motley bunch. If you're looking for shining moral examples you need to look elsewhere.

Sure, by the end of his life Abraham had learnt a deep obedience to God which led him to be prepared to offer Isaac. But that was after lying about Sarah twice, and getting into a complete tangle over Hagar and Ishmael, sending them away into the desert to die at Sarah’s jealous insistence.

Lot didn’t like the idea of the men of Sodom sleeping with his guests, but seemed happy enough to let his virgin daughters be raped instead (the same daughters, incidentally, who he later has sex with after they got him drunk).

Let’s just take a check – so far we have lying, cruelty, jealousy, attempted assisted rape, incest and drunkenness. That’s the first generation.

Isaac inherited his father’s faith – but along with it he seemed to inherit his father’s tendency to lie about his wife. He also favoured one son on the basis that he made nice tasty stews for him in his old age. The other son gets the patriarchal blessing however – as the result of his mother (Isaac’s wife) Rebekah’s deceitful scheming.

Jacob appears to have inherited – along with his father’s faith – his mother’s deceitful streak. In fact his name means deceiver – and where do you start with this wily wheeler-dealer? Tricks his brother out of his birthright and blessing, marries two sisters who enter into frenzied competition over who has more children (“Here, have sex with my maid”, “No – my maid!”) Fleeing from his uncle (who he has fleeced – pardon the pun – out of most of his livestock), his wife, Rachel, steals some idol gods (presumably, she wasn’t too sure about Jacob’s mysterious deity at this point), but gets away with it because she lies to her father.

Jacob’s sons? Well, there’s the scarcely justified slaughter of the Shechemites, the selling of Joseph into slavery – and then the disgraceful catalogue of events surrounding Judah’s family.

Briefly: Judah runs off with pagan mate; gets a wife; has three sons; first two die (because they were “wicked in the LORD’s sight”, which feels like a rather superfluous bit of narrative in this chapter of iniquity); daughter-in-law disguises herself as roadside prostitute; unrecognising Judah supplies her with “business” but orders that she is “burnt” when suspected of prostitution (bit of a NIMBY is Judah, you could say...) and relents when it is proved that he is the father of the twins she is carrying.

Twins, incidentally, one of whom is an ancestor of Christ.
No wonder Paul can write: “Before the law was given, sin was in the world” (Rom.5:13). Too right it was!

But reading this catalogue of sin and folly makes one particular verse of Genesis stand out like a beacon: Genesis 15:6

Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness.

This is a verse that Paul makes much of, quoting in both Romans and Galatians. It is a foundation stone of biblical revelation.

Abraham had faith. He believed. And this was what God was after. This was what God could work with. Isaac believed. Jacob believed (in the end!) Theirs' was a righteousness that springs from faith. James, in the New Testament, rightly insists that Abraham’s faith led to actual acts of righteousness – but faith came first.

Even bad old Lot is described in the New Testament as “a righteous man”. What kind of righteousness is this? The faith kind. Because it sure as hell (I use the expression advisedly) wasn’t the works kind.

The message of the first book of the Law, the first book of the Bible: redemption comes by faith. From true faith springs righteousness.

For 'richly ornamented' (NIV) read 'amazing technicolor' (Lloyd-Webber)

I'm a child of my times, I realise.

I'm reading through the Bible this year and I've got to the last section of Genesis, the bit about Joseph. As I read, I simply can't stop all the tunes from 'Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat' running through my head.

Not sure if this is a blessing or a curse really. But it's quite fun.

Way way back many centuries ago...

Maybe I'll post some more profound reflections next time. In the meantime, I'll close my eyes, draw back the curtain (ah-ah-ah) to see for certain (ah-ah) what I thought I knew...

They don't write lyrics like that anymore...

Go, go, go! Stop?

Last night’s “Friendship meal” left me feeling fairly jiggered, though there was lots of good stuff going on.

Over forty people (and that’s with a few regulars away). Catching up with an old friend. Visit from father-in-law (and in-grace, as it happens!) New faces, newish faces (and old faces – a few people needed an early night.) Prayer with the under-25s. A roaming brother returns. A struggling brother is ghost-like – but there. A hearty meal. Hearty sharing. Lifts home to every corner of Coventry. Hot drink and still time to read in bed before eyes become leaden and another day fades into oblivion.

Tonight, I have a choice of four possibilities. Go to Northampton to join with a youth activity there. Go to London to join our late-night evangelism team. Go to Worcester with another evangelism team. Or stay in and catch up with some rest and reflection.

As my father-in-law said last night, I must do what is right. Which could be any of them. Decisions decisions.

Hope springs eternal

We’re about to launch our evangelistic cell group at the university again. Ah, the ups and downs and hopes and disappointments of this cell group!

Strange. Although this group is only four or five people plus an even smaller number of friends, it sometimes consumes more anxious energy and nervous hope than the whole of the rest of the church community that I lead (of about thirty people and numerous friends)...

I guess it’s because, at heart, I very, very, very much want new people to find real faith in Christ. And I want young men and women of substance to join us and put their strength to the oars.

So it matters.

Oh God – bless my cell group!

Ministry of defence

Last night, after dinner (a quiet meal, just thirty-six of us), my wife and I prayed with a young sister who's been finding the going tough recently. This was certainly not just a case digging her out of the "poor old me's" (which, alas, shepherding can sometimes come down to...)

This sister is committed, pure-hearted and eager. But she'd hit a wall. We discerned that she was being targetted in the battle - the enemy was seeking to wear her down. So we prayed.

As the Spirit came, we named certain spirits that were seeking to get at her and sent them away; the demonic fog lifted and it was beautiful seeing the lines of tension fall away from her face and peace fill her. And God spoke to her and affirmed her: "I am your shield and your shelter. I am your very great reward."

That's how it is in a Jesus army. It's a real battle against a desperate, amoral and ruthless foe. And in community we're at the front line. We need each other. We need to be able to pray for and receive from each other - and live to fight another day.

Still please yourself?

House family “Together Evening” last night, a time in which those who live at White Stone set aside a whole evening for – you’ve guessed it – being together.

Last night, after the trademark long drawn-out meal, followed by coffee and laughter (we laughed at the famous last words of General John Sedgwick in the American Civil War, “They couldn’t shoot an elephant at this dis−”, at a “knock knock” joke about an interrupting cow, and at a failed joke about an interrupting elephant...)

After that, we went through into the lounge and made cards for each other with encouraging scriptures on them.

My reflections afterwards were a little similar to after last time we had such a gathering (see “Please yourself”, 3.10.06) – that such occasions, though worthwhile and refreshing are, paradoxically, also rather hard work.

It’s comparatively rare for us to have an event where the basic purpose is that people enjoy it. Sure, I would always hope that every Agape meal or worship meeting would be refreshing and enjoyable – but that’s not the ultimate purpose. The ultimate purpose is to give: to build the church up and to worship God.

And, as a leader, you want people to enjoy that, but it doesn’t matter too much if they don’t (or, at least, if they don’t every time).

But here I was last night, sitting, relaxing, enjoying – but with the background tension that I was very concerned that others enjoy themselves. Come on! Enjoy yourselves! Now!

Let me illustrate: the meal was lovely – tasty, imaginative and lovingly prepared. But inevitably, some people aren’t as keen on chicken tikka as others. The coffee and laughter was fun. But inevitably, some people would rather not sit so long on our hard dining room chairs. The card-making was creative and encouraging. But some people don’t flow as easily in “arty” stuff as others.

My conclusion: church, by its very nature cannot function according to pleasing everyone. It cannot be about everyone having “the time of their life”. Because church is, fundamentally, about people who have laid down their lives for each other and for One greater than them. Church is not an interest group. (“Fly fishing for men”, “Tennis for beginners”...) That is why it is difficult for us to all do the same thing together for enjoyment and all find all of it – well, enjoyable.

The thing we truly have in common is Jesus. His cause. Sharing this we become precious to one another and take real joy from each other.

Then it’s not so much what we do. It’s who we are. And when we love one another – that is when “God lives in us and his love is made complete in us”.

I’m not suggesting that everyone ought to have spent the evening worrying about whether others were having fun (that’s my peculiarity!) But I am saying that, if we’re truly church, we ought always to live for the good of our brothers and sisters. And if this is true, then church becomes a wonderful place to be - hard chairs and all!

Getting old?

The silly season is over and life returns to it's normal routine. And I felt rather glad as I sat at my desk at 8.30 this morning.

And how did I see the New Year in this year? I went to bed - at ten past eleven.

So: am I getting dull in my thirtieth year?

Actually, the other day, as I read from 2 Samuel in the Old Testament about David who came into his kingship, aged 30, I had the distinct sense that God was saying that this year would be a discovery year. Coming into full adulthood. Ministry. Stature.

I also read about Saul - who, intriguingly enough, also became king aged 30. But he blew it, after an impressive start. Relying on himself and losing the honour of God, he ended up a spectacular failure.

But there's a (large) part of me that feels desperately sorry for Saul. There but for the grace of God go I or you or any of us. It's so easy to 'get professional', to 'do it our way', to lose any sense of real dependance on God.

If I want to 'come into my kingship' that means the recognition that I can't. Not without leaning on the True King.

But with my God... 'with my God I can leap over a wall'.

Caption competition #3

(Taken last night on a Jesus Army holy rampage through Coventry...)

Hearth felt warmth

Last night, about fifty people crammed into one of our country community houses’ lounge. It was a special night of vision for New Creation Christian Community.

We sang the songs of Zion, some brothers shared Kingdom of God teaching, we listened to some community-inspired poetry read aloud – and finished with soup, hot crusty bread and gingerbread men round the open fire.

Beautiful.

Unrighteous mammon

Just written some of our church’s weekly bible study. Here’s an extract. I’m writing about Luke 16:

Having dealt thoroughly with the Pharisees’ self-righteous contempt for sinners (ch.15), Jesus now deals with their own abiding sin: love of money (v.14). He uses the story of a worldly-wise manager who gets himself out of a tight hole by dodgy dealing. Jesus’ point is this: if worldly people use their heads to get by in their generation (that is, in this world), then the sons of light ought to use their wealth in a way that invests in eternity (v.8-9). Worldly people know how to look after themselves in this life; Christ’s people ought to know how to store up treasure in heaven (Matt.6:20) – principally, by sharing their money within the brotherhood (v.9, 12:32-33, Acts 2:45).

Predictably, the worldly Pharisees sneer at this (v.14). Jesus responds with a powerful story illustrating God’s favour towards the poor and His judgement of the rich [v.19-31].

At death, all wealth will fail (v.9 – the Greek word means ‘an eclipse’. Death blots out wealth like an eclipse. See 1 Tim.6:6-10, 17-19): we can’t take money with us when we die!

I then pose this question:

How do you invest your money in eternity?..

Zion revisited

Since I wrote the last post, there’s been a certain amount of discussion about the term “Zion”.

On the one hand, it’s a term that is charged with a certain amount of vision and emotion for many in my church (as I explained in the last post).

On the other hand, as a word in its own right, it clearly has some much less positive associations – like blowing up Palestinians in the Middle East, for instance.

(And for some it’s that place in The Matrix...)

In other words, it’s a loaded word. And it’s also rather fuzzy – what exactly does it mean (even to members of the Jesus Army who tend to use it, rather loosely to mean “us”)?

Scripturally, it’s fairly clear. “Zion” is a frequently-used Old Testament word. Strictly it is the name of the fortress in Jerusalem, but it became synonymous with Israel as a whole. This is the way we find the word used in the Psalms and the Prophets.

In the New Testament, it seems clear that the word “Zion” (along with words like “Israel”, “kingdom”, “nation” and “Jerusalem”) came to denote the church as well as the literal, physical nation of Israel or city of Jerusalem.

Galatians 4:26, 6:16; Hebrews 12:22; 1 Peter 2:5-10; Revelation 1:6 etc. etc.

Such words sometimes took on a spiritual meaning and applied to the church and sometimes still referred to the earthly or natural city/nation. (At times, it can be a tad difficult to distinguish with certainty which is which, especially in “difficult” bits like the book of Revelation...)
Perhaps the part of the point of the word “Zion” is that it is mysterious – and highly-charged (it wasn’t for nothing that the writers of The Matrix called their city of freedom “Zion”). Zion is an ideal. It is the vision of the kingdom coming in. A taste of heaven on the earth. Reaching out for a better society, a Utopia... the kingdom of heaven.

We can’t fully have it this side of eternity. But nor should we just sit about waiting for “pie in the sky when we die”. We live in the creative tension between “now” and “not yet”.

When we speak of Zion, we should do so with care. We’re really not into blowing up Palestinians (or anyone) – but we do want to press into the kingdom of God as much as possible and live the prayer:

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

The songs of Zion

Last night, one of our brothers got us singing Zion songs before dinner. Songs like:

Zion, dwelling of God.
Zion, rich brotherhood.
My heart loves to belong
Joined to the stong
Nothing shall break
Nothing shall shake
This bond of love.

Zion is a very special word for us. Used in the Bible to designate the people of God, for us it’s become almost a family name, an identity. We are Zion. A people for God, a people devoted to King Jesus (just as the inhabitants of Old Testament Zion were devoted to David), a shining city on a hill.

While we were singing, I became filled with what I can only describe as impossible joy.

My heart loves to belong. Here’s another Zion song we sing:

My heart is held and planted in Zion
And world and death and sorrow
Can never part this bond we have.

Almighty King to You alone be given
The worship of this people.
Purchased by blood and grateful.

Philosophically speaking

Someone posted a message on a religious debate forum about the soul - what is it? they asked. Anything at all?

Various people responded: most were pooh-poohing the whole notion of a soul, saying it was just Christian mumbo-jumbo to make them feel better about dying. Which may sometimes be true, but that's certainly not all that can be said. So I wrote this. If you're philosophically-minded at all, you may want to check it out.

It is worth noting that the idea of "the soul" is not just a Christian one.

Plato taught that human beings have a soul which he saw as a spark of the divine world of ideal forms within each individual. (Eastern philosophy often teaches similar ideas, but let's stick to the West for now). Aristotle followed Plato in the belief in a soul, but linked it far more closely to the body. Humans, he taught, are an embodied soul or a souled body.

Hebrew thought saw humans as having souls and this belief arose from the Hebrew understanding of how humans were created by God (who is spirit) out of physical stuff (dust or earth). Thus man has a physical, tangible existence (body) and an invisible, immaterial part (spirit) which are fused in one human being (soul).

Christian thinking on the soul has been largely formed as an amalgum of Greek and Hebrew thought. Augustine, the ancient theologian/philosopher based his thinking on the Bible (Hebrew) and Plato (Greek). Aquinas, the medieval theologian/philosopher based his thinking on the Bible (Hebrew) and Aristotle (Greek).

Before atheistic materialists rush to say that there is no such thing as a soul (and this view also has very ancient credentials - Greek philosophers Democritus and Epicurus believed that existence is nothing but uncuttable little bits of matter - atoms - flying through empty space or void), they need to think through some other questions:

What is love? (Are they really happy to conclude that their feelings for their lovers and children are merely chemicals in the brain - which, in turn, are merely atoms and molecules flying randomly through the void?)

What is thought or intelligence? (When an atheistic materialist decides that the universe is merely atoms, what actually is it that decides that the universe is merely atoms - can atoms decide that they are merely atoms?)

Do they ever actually make decisions (or is it all the result of a pre-determined machine - the universe - that came about by chance?)

The soul, as properly conceived by Christians (and others), is not simply a woolly and sentimental wish for an afterlife. It is a serious and reasonable explanation for the data of human existence as we all experience it.

(Next time, I'll post something down to earth - about chocolate cake or something - I promise...)

Through the wardrobe

Again, I feel a post coming on inspired by a comment on a previous one:

I assume that you are using Narnia as an example of dreaming of the kingdom....

Well... yes and no. I mean, yes, obviously. I dream of the kingdom: it’s a dream that fills my days, “a dream that will take all the love you can give” as the Reverend Mother sings in The Sound of Music. And, yes, Narnia is a picture of the kingdom, in a way: a place of beauty and magic and – Aslan.

And yet, no. I was dreaming of Narnia! As we drove along the M1 that morning, I glanced out at a beautiful belt of pine trees and my heart yearned. Have you ever felt that strange longing, that aching desire inside for beauty, for peace, for adventure, for something somehow magical. Well that’s how I felt.

CS Lewis, author of The Chronicles of Narnia calls this yearning feeling “joy”. This may sound odd – we tend to think of joy as a kind of extreme happiness. But he meant the longing within us, the hunger for the eternal. “God has put eternity in the hearts of men” it says in the book of Ecclesiastes.

Or as another author, GK Chesterton put it more bluntly:

Every man who knocks on the door of a brothel is looking for God.

Sounds outrageous? What Chesterton meant is that we all have a desire within us: Lewis’s “joy”, the Bible’s “eternity in our hearts”, the Reverend Mother’s “dream that will take all the love we can give”. We may look in all the wrong places – like a brothel, for instance – to quench that desire. (Desire can certainly “give birth to sin” (James 1:15), but that is a perversion, a twisting of its proper purpose.) Yet the longing remains, panting and pointing to something. To something or Someone we desperately want.

And that’s where the kingdom comes in. We’re really hungry for God and for Zion whether or not we quite know it.

One day Christians will receive the kingdom in all its fullness, though I’m inclined to believe that even when we see God “face to face” we will still forever journey deeper into Him together.

In the meantime, we “know in part”. We glimpse the kingdom through worship, through brotherhood in community, through the shared mission of church.

And I dare to say that things which stir our desire for eternal beauty can be helpful in this. I’m not advocating visiting brothels or some kind of existential selfishness. But that doesn't mean that wholesome things which stir our imagination and cause our hearts to yearn, cannot help us on our way to God.

I’ve written a lot (again). But I don’t think I’ve said all that can be said on this one. Far from it. So maybe I’ll do a part two some time... In the meantime, I’ll let Lewis have the final word:

All joy...emphasizes our pilgrim status; always reminds, beckons, awakens desire. Our best havings are wantings.